You are a police officer who has a medical condition where you cannot lie. Your boss has just placed you undercover. [link to post]
“I can’t believe the Chief put me on this assignment. Shitty birthday,” I complained to myself with a mumble. I stood on the street corner, “smoking”. I did not know how to smoke, but I made do with just holding smoke in my mouth for a bit before blowing it out into the night air. It was enough for my character. I stood in the dark area between the glow of street lamps. Mostly out of sight, but there for people that knew I was there. I’d never worn a thong before, but I quickly grew accustomed to it. While I waited, I considered buying some for myself. The high heels were definitely not for me though, I did not know how women managed with them.
The cool night air tickled my butt cheeks. Not only did my hot pink booty shorts leave my lower cheeks exposed, my wife needed to shave my hairy ass to complete the look. She enjoyed that way too much, and I had reservations about letting her near me with a razor while her body convulsed randomly from laughter. We went back and forth about shaving my chest, but I won out on that one. My wife agreed that the curly chest hairs peeking through the mesh top added to my ensemble.
A red mercedes pulled up. The back window rolled down, and an older gentleman poked his head out. He had a bushy silver mustache, and a full head of silver hair. He looked familiar, but I had trouble placing his face.
“Don’t ask if I’m a cop, don’t ask if I’m a cop, don’t ask if I’m a cop.” I repeated the chant mentally.
“Hey baby, you working tonight?” He asked. His voice sounded grandfatherly, almost like he had a candy in his pocket for me. Thinking about it, he probably did. At least he gave me an easy question.
“Yeah, honey. I’m working,” I walked slowly to the open window. I hoped it looked sexy, even though I was just trying to avoid cracking my head on the sidewalk.
“What can you do for me?” He asked with a broad smile. He opened the door and made room for me. I entered the car and made myself comfortable near him before I answered.
“That all depends on how generous you are for me.” I said with a smile. I glanced forward and caught the driver’s eye. I recognized him too. I suddenly felt at ease when he nodded at me. I did not have a close relationship with him, but he was a cop. “Well at least the chief arranged some back up for me. “ I smiled at the driver and winked at him, trying to play my the character for the older man.
“Drive us home, Beauregard.” The man made a “go” gesture with his hand at the driver, then he wrapped that arm around me and pulled me closer. “For you sweetheart, I can be very generous.” He squeezed my bare thigh. “But first,” he said. “I need to ask you a question.”
“Don’t ask if I’m a cop, don’t ask if I’m a cop, don’t ask if I’m a cop.” I started the chant again in my mind.
“You know that you have to tell me if you’re a cop, right? It’s a rule,” he said.
“Oh, yeah I know,” I nodded. “Nothing to worry about, handsome.” I pecked him on the cheek and hoped that would be enough of an answer. I lucked out with his wording, and hoped to distract him from further questions. Time to stop being vague.
“What’s it going to be, honey? Boyfriend experience is 500$ per hour. 100$ for a blowjob, or 50$ for a handy.” I rubbed his crotch, and felt nothing. No response to my touch. Despite being on assignment that hurt my feelings a bit. I hoped to arrest him before he takes his Viagra, I didn’t want to put him in jail in that state.
“How much for the whole night?” He asked.
“4k using my standard rates. But you’re handsome, and I’ll bet you’ve got a nicer place than I do. 2 and a half grand.” The words came out before I thought about them. I guess I did think he was handsome. This car is nicer than my house. Those are true. Staying did not count as a lie, because it would not get that far.
“Hmm. Well let’s get home and we’ll work out the details, we’re a couple blocks away. But let me ask you, dear. I like taking an interest in my partners. What would it take to make this the best night of your life?”
“Oh shit.”
“Honestly? Not being here. No offense honey, it’s not you. But it’s my birthday tonight, and I’m here working.” I shrugged. I probably killed the mood and the deal, but the chief put me on this assignment. He knew it was a possibility.
“It’s your birthday? Well then we absolutely have to throw you a party tonight. Just because you’re working doesn’t mean you can’t have fun. In fact, we’ll do that first, and then we’ll talk about what I want from you,” the older gentleman said. The car stopped in front of a security gate, and the driver pressed a button to open it.
“I appreciate it, but I’d really rather get this sorted out first. I need to work, handsome. If not you, take me back to my spot, please.” The Chief would definitely fire me if I abandoned the operation for a party.
“Oh you don’t know my friends. Trust me, you want them to be your friends. Networking is also working, and you get to have fun at the same time.” The car had pulled into a garage at this point, and the driver got out to open my door for me. The older gentleman got out on his side, and the driver whispered at me so that the man would not hear.
“Just say the word,” he nodded at me. I nodded at him in return and followed the older gentleman. He opened the garage door for me and I stepped into a darkened kitchen. As soon as I stepped in the lights came on to reveal a large crowd of people and a banner proclaiming “Happy Birthday!”
“SURPRISE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
My wife ran over to me and gave me a peck on the cheek. I recognized all my friends and coworkers. The Chief had a broad smile when he came over and patted me on the back. Then I recognized the older gentleman when he appeared next to the Chief.
“OH MY GOD! I grabbed your cock. I’m sorry Commissioner!” I blushed intensely while he laughed.
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